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Quote of the Week vol. 270

"I never thought I was going to hate you."

- Mrs. Vickie to me after having her move up 10 pounds in max effort back squats.

Athlete of the Fall: Mrs. Kroll

My first thought was she miscounted her reps. Doing 100 burpees and a mile does not take 14 minutes for a mom. Fresh-off-100%-attendance Ashley Fry took 15 minutes to finish. So two days later I secretly counted just to make sure and nope, no cutting reps whatsoever. Well maybe it's just a lucky string of workouts, so a week later we went heavier on deadlifts then made her do a full 800m run. Still one of the top times of the day. At that point, I had to concede; after 3.5 years Mrs. Kroll is now the real deal.

At around the time in September the picture above was taken, Mrs. Kroll started to get the Jennifer Summer Treatment. Her capacity in the wheelhouse workouts were now a legit thing, so let's see what happens when we remove some of the scaling. This fall Mrs. Kroll went heavier on the weights, further on the runs, longer on the rounds, and less on the bathroom breaks. She also dropped something heavy on her big toe while at work - which kept her hobbling around for a few weeks - and that gave her the opportunity to learn how to train while not at 100%. Needless to say she's been on point. September also saw Mrs. Kroll move from 3 days per week to 4 days per week for the first time in her CrossFit career, and the results seem to show that. Doing CrossFit more days than you don't adds up pretty quickly.


I have many wishes for the Champions Club, and one of the most prominent ones is that some day Mrs. Kroll finds a way to split between morning and afternoon sessions. There are very few people in the gym who are exclusive to a session, and Mrs. Kroll in the morning and nowhere else has been a thing since 2015. As such, there are a lot of people that'll just have to take my word on Mrs. Kroll's Beast Modes because they don't get to see it in person. On the other hand, she lives and works a traffic-induced hour away and is in a position that makes it difficult for her schedule to be flexible. It's somewhat understandable. What is cool, though, is the 8:30 session has finally grown past the Kroll/Shakes duo show and now will feature Mama V, Mrs. Pip, Schornack, Mrs. Vickie, Angie, and even a random Bewick sighting here and there.

The mornings spent in private or semi-private sessions has definitely done a lot for her technique, but it has also given her planty of opportunity to annoy me. Most of you know I go by What Have You Done For Me Lately when it comes to the gym. Good workouts in September don't mean much for October. But for whatever reason I have found myself being more impatient with Mrs. Kroll than just about any other athlete I've coached, and sometimes I tell myself to just sit back and enjoy the product. Part of it is the private attention. Part of it is her incredible lack of composure (think Georgia Tech on a passing down, or Arlene getting her quds mashed). Part of it is the constant bathroom breaks. And part of it is me being greedy and seeing how much more she has in the tank. Mrs. Kroll's biggest limitation in the gym sits perfectly between her ears, but at the same time that mindset is also responsible for her putting her health at such a high priority.

I am going to go on record saying that Mrs. Kroll will be our first-ever repeat Athlete-of-the-Not-Summer (Shakes, Bubs, and Jason have both school year and Summer awards to their names). Of course, I'm in charge of the vote, so I could just rig it, but I'm telling you guys once Mrs. Kroll learns how to not be fearful for her life when she's in a handstand you're going to see the fittest mom in the Champions Club. Bar none.

With all that being said, today is today. And if Mrs. Kroll does not improve one atom in her body for the rest of her life, she'll still be in a condition that many moms in the country wish they were in (including the July-version of Mrs. Kroll). Love ya missy! Great work!


Fall is usually a down time for the Champions Club. 2013 was an exception as The Freaks were in their high school prome. Last year was brutal. This year was actually pretty good. We were almost always in the mid-20s for attendance and we retained a good amount of rookies from the Summer. We picked up Olivia Pinili, the Miranda family, Joel and Jonah, and a fewmore New Kids in the works. Shannon agreed to come back to coach once-a-week. We got turf. And the Thanksgiving Workout was sweet. The Athlete of the Fall was actually a really tough choice between Mrs. Kroll and Mrs. Pip. The fact that Pip is still doing her thing and setting prs 8+ years into CrossFit is really amazing. Mama V was in 3rd place for AOTF running, and Evan Pugh also caught my eye from late-September on. We're in a good place now and looking to have a great winter of training. Let's keep it going!

Pics of the Week: Fantastic Beasts and What Happens When They Run Into Mrs. Pip

Last week Fry and Shakes went to see Fantastic Beasts and happened to run into Shannon and her sister Mackenzie.

It was a great movie and any Harry Potter fan not named Rachael Kroll would enjoy it.

In other news, Mrs. Pip murdered a deer over the weekend.

Whether or not she used both hands in the assassination is still unknown, but she did push presses with it after the ordeal was over.

A Short Recap for The 4 People Who Follow College Football Here

Exactly seven days ago I changed the desktop background on my laptop.

Then Saturday happened.

The Game in 2016 is without question the most stress I have ever felt over anything in my life. There was a point in overtime, down 7, with 4th and Goal where I could not stop my left arm from shaking. I'm sure it happens all the time to people, though. This year was not nearly as bad, I just woke up at 5 am the morning of.

As a coach I've been really practicing the skill of insight lately - meaning seeing things how they are in reality, not how I think they should be. This means staying in the present and not letting your mind drift into that tricky world of abstract thinking. This takes energy, which means I need a place where it's okay to be irrational - a place where being right is much more important than seeing the opposing point of view. This place is called fandom. And my fandom is on Saturdays in the fall.

Our team is always the better team. They win with dignity and the futire is always bright. Your rivals cheerleaders are ugly, anyone can get into school there, and they cheat. It doesn't matter what kind of opposing proof you show me when my grandfather agrees. And man, for 13 weeks from September through November I bask in this irrationality in the form of 14-16 hours on the couch watching College GameDay at 10 am and finishing with Boise State/Hawaii wrapping up their flag football game at 2 am.

Somewhere buried deep beneath the Keith Jackson's majestic voice and those stupid-ass Discover Card Cashback Match commercials is a scalding desire for inclusion. I would give up two Banets and a Colussi to be in a world I can reasonably argue that Michigan is one of the elite programs in the country. This is not that world. Oklahoma averages 9 yards per play and they are probably not an elite program. You have Bama, Clemson, and Ohio freaking State. Rationality helps you look at Michigan's roster in August and understand this. Fandom sees Don Brown on the verge of crying after Penn State's only touchdown...

Courtesy of MGoBlog




In fandom it's perfectly possible and okay to be mortally shredded after a loss with your guts and brain in a soggy mess, and still be appreciative of the season. It's also okay to throw morals out the window; I would accept all of Ohio State's off-the-field problems if it meant getting their on-the-field success. In August I thought I wouldn't, but during that 4-hour game on Saturday nobody was thinking of Zach Smith or recruiting violations, they were covering their faces with a pillow screaming ANOTHER CROSSING PATTERN!?!?! and wondering where on earth we can find the tree that produces Parris Campbells.

We're probably not as good as the Penn State game, and probably not as bad as the Ohio State game. I'm good with the staff, good with the players, good with where the program is headed, and in an absolutely miserable mood. And will be for probably another few days. That's college football: simultaneously the best and the worst thing of all time.

Thanksgiving Workout 2018 Recap

What a session! For the second year in a row, we exceeded 30 people in attendance our annual Thanksgiving Workout. 32 was the magic number today - well, 33 if you count Saporito coming in late as usual. We made use of the turf side to host the crowded workout and once we got rolling everything went pretty smooth. 

Thanksgiving 2018 Photo Gallery

Thanksgiving 2018 Workout Results


Thanks to everyone who came out, especially Mrs. Gloria and Don! Remember, tomorrow's session times are 9 am and 5:30 pm. You all earned your cheat meals today!

Quote of the Week vol. 269: 

"Michigan lost by a literal inch the last time they were in Columbus despite Wilton Speight fumbling on the goal line and throwing two miserable interceptions. Last's game was 21 Michigan players outplaying the opposition and the third-string quarterback tossing up a 14.3 QBR. This isn't Michigan scrapping and clawing because "throw the records out" and we'll go for two at the end of the game because we know what's what. It's Michigan getting hit by a red shell rounding the last corner.

They're there. They're good enough. They're legitimately elite by any metric you want to poke. Now they just have to do the damn thing. The consequences of failure do not bear thinking about. It's armageddon, again. Ohio State is a rope over an abyss. Sharpen your knives."

- Brian from MGoBlog.

Saturday is taking forever.

New Kid on the Block: Joel

Joel Botardo is a classmate of Dylan Colussi and brother of recent Fundamentals graduate Jonah. In fact, he might as well be Jonah in disguise because (from an athletic perspective) they are nearly identical.

Joel is a little guy who can jump, has great body awareness, and can last longer than most 7th graders in workouts - both in muscle endurance and attention span. Like his brother, Joel isa basketball-first athlete and we'rehoping to build some foundational skills that will help him in the long term. I'll check back in after Day 6.