Mr. Ron is taking laps, and they call him Roto-Rooter
slash plumber, fast runner, and he fly on them computers
Entries in mr. kuiper (37)
Champions Club Summer 2024 Attendance Draft


Letting Mr. Ron know he was going to be a draft captain 3 weeks ahead of time ensured that he was going to make a detailed Excel spreadsheet of the current attendance, color-coded with make believe teams, live percentages, and forecasting of future performances. I am not making any of this up; it was so pathetically awesome that I knew a wrinkle must be thrown into this year's draft. It didn't take long to figure it out, just took a page from our old Mario Baseball drafts.
For the first time ever, the Summer Attendance Draft was done in an auction format: each of the four captains got $225 to spend on their core team however they wanted. The captains were: Tea', Mr. Kuiper, Bethany, Mr. Ron.
Speaking of conflicts of interest, having our main draft analysis dude also make picks, himself, would open up all kinds of possibilities for manipulation, tomfoolery, and bribery. So we have temporarily enlisted the services of Jessica "ol' Granny Smith" Suchta to give her analysis of the draft selections.
Take it from here Jess!
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Boston Tea' Party (Tea')
- Mr. Mark ($35)
- Mrs. Nevarez ($20)
- Cecilia ($30)
- Cory ($45)
- Lulu ($10)
- Mrs. Hana ($30)
- Koje ($15)
- Ethan ($10)
- Mr. Robinson ($10)
- Natalie ($5)
- Crystal ($15)
- Bread
- Sean
- Lola
- Samantha
- Sarah
- JT
- Liz
- Omer
- Jobe
- *Paris
Apple of Truth: McIntosh
Analysis: Picture a blindfold and a dartboard, this is Tea’s picks when you first take a peak. I think she was just getting too nervous she hadn’t spent any money for the first 10? picks and paid big bucks for Mr. Mark, who deemed the nickname Mr. Vacation, although I have no idea if he has any of those planned this summer. And picking Cec when she just left for Alaska is questionable. Although I do think Mrs. Hana and Ethan Hana was a good duo family pick, she’s also got her sister for a wild card, and a Nevarez trio which could be the underdog strategy or her undoing. Her highlight rated pick from the audience I think was Cory, at least he should be for $45. We will see if his attendance can balance out some of these other folk, but I think Tea’s got the team that could possibly show up every day or leave her high and dry.
Waffle House Response Team (Mr. Kuiper)
- Mrs. Hill ($25)
- David Sap ($25)
- Mr. Van ($40)
- Evan ($15)
- Jessica ($10)
- Mr. Carey ($15)
- Zander ($20)
- Josh Van ($5)
- Mya ($30)
- Gavin ($5)
- Aaron ($30)
- Coach Casey ($5)
- Dita
- Matt Fecht
- Iakov
- Pitt
- El
- Rae
- Xavier
- Cole
- Lily
Apple of Truth: Cortland
Analysis: Mr. Kuiper was Mr. Nonchalant announcing that he knew nobody’s summer plans, and scuffing at any moment the auction went for more than 25 fake dollars, but he played the silent game well because he picked up Mrs. Hill, Mr. Van, and well me. He did also put up a late fight for Mya and Aaron Sexton. I also think of the free agents, babies, and rookies out there he picked up some of the more solid recruits. It’s going to depend on whether Sap, Zander and Josh Van wake up in the morning for weekend workouts and dare I say weekend mobility to beat out Mr. Ron’s squad.
Dolla' Shave Club (Bethany)
- Mrs. Carey ($40)
- Bubs ($35)
- Dillon ($30)
- Mrs. Robinson ($10)
- Mr. Malak ($40)
- Shakes ($20)
- Kolitn ($5)
- CT ($5)
- Avery Hill ($5)
- Mrs. Goga ($5)
- Mr. Krstich ($5)
- Kyron ($5)
- Charles ($5)
- Chase ($5)
- Jenna ($5)
- Mrs. Burton ($5)
- Parker
- Jazz
- Dominik
- Mr. Lett
- Mrs. Lanette
Apple of Truth: Gala
Analysis: Bethany took the more conservative approach and saved her money to get top pick of the bottom half. To say her picks were better because they were paid for compared to the free agent steals from some of the other captains would be wrong, but she still secured Mrs. Burton with her last main group pick. Bethany’s team does have the longtime committed members of Mrs. Carey, Bubs, and Katie Shakes that will provide decent gimme points. However, all those fivers might be too inconsistent to help her out in the end.
Let Me Tell You About My Yogurt (Mr. Ron)
- Mrs. Van ($60)
- Anto ($50)
- Mr. Gjon ($20)
- Mr. Coffee ($10)
- Moustaache ($25)
- Faith ($15)
- Owen ($15)
- Bewick ($10)
- Mrs. Colleen ($15)
- Mr. Francis ($5)
- Emma Lang
- Madison
- Conamora
- Sam Curtis
- Zeena
- Mr. Curtis
- James
- Madelyn
- Mrs. Hawkins
- Mrs. Rachel
- Allie T
Apple of Truth: Red Delicious
Analysis: Mr. Ron has what you would call the lead foot of an auction paddle and threw big money right off the bat for the two other members of the Summer 2023 Top 3 Attendancers to assert his dominance. Despite Mr. Ron being back and forth and overanalyzing all the moves he made, my quick run through of the previous few weeks think Mr. Coffee and Moustache were pretty decent consistent picks averaging 5-6 days but his team is definitely more top-heavy as he started picking what seems to be based on names he recognizes from the soccer/Monkeys gang that I think might weigh him down. I think if Mr. Ron, Mrs. Van, and Anto take the Top 3 again in this year’s attendance, they might win by a landslide but who knows maybe Mr. Ron will pick up mono from Ashlyn.
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Undrafted Fre Agents: Rookies - Mrs. Cav, Mr. Blackwell, and looks like many, many more. Regulars - Mrs. Vinyard, Ashley Schulz, Avery Schulz, Jaylee, Langston, Kadence, Ashlyn, Jacqueline, Dylan