CrossFit Athletic Group

The reason this thing has taken so long to come out is not because I've been on the fence about who to invite and who not to, but because sometimes I get in the mode of trying to make sure I have a session time for everyone instead of just committing to times and letting the rest happen. But we're one week away and things are taking a recognizable shape. Now with a few last-minute tweaks and additions the Champions Club Summer 2021 is looking like an absolute blockbuster.

Dates. June 14 - Harry Potter Theme Workout on September 1

Price. $225 per person. Cash, check made out to Champions Club Inc., or PayPal works. Jay tried to pay in Chinese money one year, and Jason paid me in all coins in 2014, so please don't do either of those.

Workout Schedule. 3-days on, 1-day off, up to date with CrossFit.com.

Session times. 9 am (rookies), 10 am, 11 am, 4:30 pm, 5:30 pm, 6:30 pm. Saturdays and Sundays at 10 am. Mobility days TBD.

Wishlist.

10 am

• Dillon
• Jessica
• Madison
• Anto Banet
• Nick Banet
• Makenna
• Chase
• Josh Van
• Zander
• Dylan Colussi
• Cecilia
• Aaron
• Owen
• Caitlin
• Alejandro
• Emily

11 am

• Conamora
• Lulu
• Jaylee
• Sam Curtis
• Sarah Curtis
• Lily
• Reese
• Calan
• Alex Schulz
• Mrs. Jayme
• Mr. Andrew
• Mr. Mark
• Mr. Gjon

4:30 pm, 5:30, and 6:30 mix and match

• Mrs. Van
• Mr. Van
• Mr. Malak
• Erica
• Evan
• Woorden
• Sydney
• Bewick
• Crystal
• Coach T
• Mrs. Tara
• Coach Casey
• Mr. Kuiper
• Mr. Bennis
• Mrs. Hana
• Mrs. Burton
• Schott
• Bethany
• Paris
• Tea'
• Jay
• Mr. Carey
• Mrs. Carey
• Shakes
• Mrs. Nevarez
• Mrs. Lanette

Free agents/session TBD*

• Koltin
• Nick Krstich
• WWW (can we all agree on this nickname?)
• Drew
• Mr. Webster
• Mr. Krstich
• Sammy B
• Jacqueline Asmar
• Mrs. Bennis
• Javier
• HD
• Emma Lang
• Luke
• Noah
• Sam Dickey
• EmD
• Jaiden
• Kadence
• Langston
• Mr. Bettys
• Carter
• Bubs

That list gives us 70+, and our 9 am rookies session has the potential to be in the 15ish range I would guess by July or so. Add in the younger kids and we are looking at somewhere right around 100 again on our Summer roster.

*waiting on schedules, rides, injuries, etc. Also, if I missed anyone then hit me up

Stick to a session? Yes, to an extent. The afternoon ones will be pretty interchangable, but not so much with the morning ones. I think something like 70/30 would be a good balance this Summer. I really value the effect an environment has on an individual, but our group on the whole is loaded from top to bottom. The session layout listed above shows what I think are best fits. But to me-

UUNNBROKEN SEXTON!!

Um, did anyone else hear that?

DON'T SET THE FREAKING BAR DOWN SEXTON!!

Ah, yes. I should highlight that we are bringing back a critical part to the Champions Club:

If you haven't met Coach T yet, you're in for a treat. To this date he is the only person to have ever been caught in the act of playing help defense in a pickup basketball game.

Middle School Session. I think I might call them AA now, but either way this refers to Josh Bennis, Michael Banet, Mallory, Kendall, and crew. Yes, we are going to keep them rolling. $75 covers the Summer for them. Right now we're going on Sundays at 11:15 am, but I wouldn't be opposed to moving them to a weekday, like Wednesdays at 3:30 or something. We'll see how it rolls.

Did I see some diapers sitting in the corner? You might have, indeed. I'm really excited to announce that the Babies session (Single-A) is going to make a return, hopefully during June. Cameron is going to lead the way with his rocket launcher aimed directly at Thomas Busch's overalls.

Awkward rankings and drafts? I'm up in the air about doing a draft. The downside is it makes some attendance things tricky, but any time there's an opportunity to add something to compete in then I'm down. The Graph of Ability (or lack there-of) will make it return every odd-year Summer. Owen will probably be the Origin.

Theme Workouts. As usual there will be 6: the four classics are Disney, 80s, Shark Week, and Harry Potter. Then we bring back an old one and introduce a new one. I think it would do well to bring back the Olympic Theme Workout from Summer 2016 with a few tweaks. And as for the new one, it seems the vocal minority has settled on Star Wars; the other suggestions included White Teash (Dillon's idea) that would include some kind of Trailor Park Boys buffoonery, as well as a Schott theme (Mr. Bennis's idea I think) where everyone would come dressed as their favorite expression of Chris Schott.

So... is that it then? No special announcements or hype videos? Yes. I always feel tempted to try and add something or change the routine just for the sake of being able to say, "look at this shiny new thing." That would keep your attention for a while, evaoprate in the parking lot during that 40-minute workout, and leave you searching for the next new thing.

I am a fan of boring; there are places in the world that would probably give up anything for the luxury of being bored, and Aaron Sexton's hamstrings are still filled with cement. So more of the same until we get the change we want, then we'll find something else to get bored about.

For the first time ever the Summer shine will not be relying on an influx of new people. Last year was the Lamphere invasion and the Monkey Exhibit, 2019 was 40(!) freaking rookies, 2018 and 2015 was the spring invasion of parents, and 2013 was the Banets and the college athletes.

Look up and down and you'll see that every single person on the Summer 2021 roster is the fittest they have ever been in their life. And now they're about to get 10 straight weeks of undisrupted CrossFit in this environment. A team full of seasoned veterans is my favorite kind of boring. The last thing a coach needs to do here is hype up a crappy team in the scouting report to make them sound like a threat. "Don't let the warmups fool you, boys! Rutgers is... uh... /checks notes... really good at punting this year. So DON'T TAKE THEM LIGHTLY!"

You guys don't need a freaking invite, you are the Champions Club. Let's have a good one y'all.

Chris