CrossFit Athletic Group

Ignoring is one of the most harmful things you can do to other people in the long term. This has really been one of the main points of emphasis for my own development as a coach since hearing Ben Bergeron, owner of CrossFit New England, give a presentation about this a few years ago. I've also found that ignoring is one of the most difficult things to work on because, naturally, the longer I coach the more things I notice, and the more things I notice the more opportunity there is to ignore.

Scenario 1

Trenton is a recent addition to the Double-A session and he's also been routinely coming in during the week to work out with JB and the rest of the 3:30 crew. As with most new people his form is inconsistent; one rep it will be up to standard, the next one it will be off, two more will be up to standard, the next one will be off. During squats his back was rounding and his knees were wobbling in a group of 9.

• The choice. I can 1) ignore either his back or his knees and spend time putting focus on the other, 2) ignore both of them and have him do a squat hold, 3) ignore Trent altogether, know his form will come along as time comes, and put my attention on Samantha, Erica, Bubs, Crystal, and the rest of the regulars. In this instance, I chose option #1; I ignored his back rounding and put all my eggs in the basket of getting his knees to stay still - which took time away from the regulars. This is also me banking on my belief that Trent is going to be around for a while, which, in my mind, is worth temporarily taking my attention off the regulars.

Scenario 2

Bewick. He, himself, is a walking talking scenario.

• The choice. I definitely owe Bewick an apology for how I got into him in front of the group for being late the other day. I think my conflict with him boils down to the fact that everyone that comes in here does so, deep down, out of a desire to change things about themselves, and Bewick has a certain rebellion to change. Handstands, nutrition, communication, teamwork, mental toughness, physical toughness, and intensity are all part of a long list of things him and I have conflicted on since 2017. So let's take a handstand for example; 12 people in a session all trying a handstand and Bewick still not getting it: do I walk over and spot him, knowing he doesn't have any particular desire to change his handstand ability, or do I ignore him and spend that time on the other people?

Scenario 3

The 5:30 session didn't really get the dose/response that was intended to come out of Grace. In short, the intensity wasn't there. In long, Mr. Ron, Arthur, and Laura needed to slowly ratch up the speed (and I needed to give them more weight), Mr. Krstich and Mrs. Nevarez allowed their discomfort to get to their heads, Saporito hit a landmark of 20 reps and set the bar down, and Koltin and Mr. Carey needed to find more tolerance in their shoulders for their modified workout. But... I love all of them and I really don't find it fun to rip into them after a workout saying they didn't do a good job - especially considering Mr. Ron, Laura, and Arthur all drove 40+ minutes to do a 2 minute workout.

• The choice. Ignore the workout and keep the good mood of the session ("I really appreciate seeing you guys today, great work!") or address the problem ("I'm not really happy with how that one turned out you guys.")

Scenario 4

Bethany walks in on her fiest day back off a work trip and I notice her cell phone still in her pocket. Like Bewick, Bethany has a certain rebellious side, evident in her first week here in 2021 when she tried hiding her FAP on her while working out. But since then she's fit in really well and is completely engaged with the group, regardless if she's been subsiquently sneaking her phone in her duffle bag or not.

• The choice. Do I pretend like I didn't see Bethany's phone in her pocket, knowing it doesn't keep her from interacting with everyone, or do I call her out on it? In this case, and in most cases, I called her out on it, thinking about the slippery slope of, "well, Bethany can bring in her phone, why can't I?"

No matter what kind of rationale we add to it, ignoring simply means we do not believe the other person is cabable of changing at that exact time. Sometimes it's helpful, but just know over the long term ignoring also sends a message that whatever is happening is okay. As Brian the Trainer said, what you allow is what you encourage.