CrossFit Athletic Group

I crossed 12 mile road this morning and realized I had potentially made an enormous mistake.

"Okay, stay cool, just check the status on the park's construction, what's an extra 800 meters or so?"

The park had mounds of dirt and gravel, dump trucks and excavators, and an orange caution fence.

"Dang, ruling this place out as a 4 Corners spot, then. Quicker I can get back the better."

Back across 12 mile, back into the Red Run sub.

"Should I stop at my grandma's? Nah, I'll be good."

Just to be sure, I went the most direct way. Cut across Campbell, through the alleyway at Lessenger.

"Oh man, quicker makes it worse. Take it easy, no one's watching."

I emerged onto Stephenson Hwy, only to realize that Girard is not as close to 13 mile as I thought.

"Brace you pansy! Belly tight, butt squeezed, shoulders back, head tall."

There were hills on that side of Stephenson Hwy. Why were there hills on that side of Stephenson Hwy?

"You done got yourself into trouble here boy I tell ya."

I slowed to a shuffle; all the buildings were either closed or For Sale.

"I have Mrs. Leze in 30 minutes. I gotta make it back for her.

A red light at 13 mile; an unexplainable traffic jam at 8:30 am on a Saturday; I stood there.

"Hmmm, this actually feels better. Maybe I'll just walk."

There was a close call crossing 13 mile. Walking was not an option.

"Anywhere but the middle of an intersection."

In bringing the pace back up to a shuffle, realized I was a measly 800ish meters away from the gym.

"This is a 10. This has to be a 10."

Shuffling made it worse. I slowed down to a walk.

I stopped. Gathered myself. Started walking again. Interval training.

I stopped again. And then it happened.

I shit my pants on Stephenson Hwy.

"This is not good man... what the hell am I supposed to do now?"

Somehow I end up by a dumpster. The mind does not sequence events properly with ruined britches.

"Mrs. Leze, shower, mobility session, get home, pray; not sure in which order..."

Next thing I know I'm in the shower at home. I turned off the water, dried myself with a towel, then showered again, exceeding my total number of showers for entire fiscal year of 2021.

"This is worse than turning my card in 2nd grade."

Four of my neighbors waved on the way back up to the gym.

"Hey Mrs. Sue. How are you today? Oh, me? Yeah, I'm doing great!"

I arrived at the gym at 8:57 am with the guilt of a bad dog waiting for his owner to come home.

Mr. Gjon pulled in with Mrs. Leze 5 minutes later.

Conclusion.