CrossFit Athletic Group

I've been debating on whether or not it would be worthwhile to do a post where I share with you guys how I would read certain articles for a while now, always wondering whether or not it's a good use for this site. I'm also forcing myself to stay off the internet more and more, so the selection of articles is a little more limited than before. I also need to be careful in ripping apart posts on other sites, when the archives here are full of me being prideful and short-sighted. But I figured I'd start writing this and see if it comes out as something worth posting.

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Article: CrossFit Partners with Velites to Become the Official Grip and Jump Rope of the CrossFit Games

Red Flag #1: We have made it two sentences before we see our first instance:

This exciting partnership...

So when I saw this I promptly did two things: went to cedarpoint.com, and then typed in "Denard Robinson" into Google: neither of those two returns contained the word "exciting" even once, so either we need to reconsider what the word "exciting" means or we have to conclude that it might be hyperbolic to include jump ropes and grip things for pull-ups in that category.

Red Flag #2: still in the second sentence:

... is designed to support CrossFit athletes in their pursuit of excellence, providing them with the high-quality workout accessories they need to achieve success — whether in their workouts or in competition for the CrossFit Open.

The word "need" is heavy, and not one to throw around regularly. I can't say for certain that gloves and jump ropes will stop success from happening, but I can say that we have seen plenty of examples with our own eyes of you guys achieving success without them. Mr. Ron did a thousand jump ropes using the one with broken handles and Aaron got 60 pull-ups with no chalk, let alone gloves.

Red Flag #3: statement from figure head

"Velites manufactures the highest quality products...

Man I used to be so guilty of claims like this, and probably still am in some areas. How does this dude know they're the "highest quality" products? How does one judge a Jump Rope Durability competition? And how would you rate the quality of this product when it has to stand up to the lofty task of Dalton Jumping Rope? The word "need" also pops up later in the statement.

Red Flag #4: but what's missing?

As part of this collaboration, CrossFit and Velites will co-brand hand grips, jump ropes, and wristbands. CrossFit athletes will have several opportunities to access new Velites gear. 

• Velites will offer free limited edition wristbands to all CrossFit Open registrants and spectators at the CrossFit Games for the next three years.
• Athletes who participate in this year’s Community Cup will receive a $25 gift card from Velites.
• Velites will be launching a co-branded grip that meets the CrossFit Games Rulebook standards, enabling in-competition use at the CrossFit Games. 
• All products will be available for purchase through Velites' global e-commerce platform, as well as through CrossFit’s online shop and CrossFit Games store. 

First off, what does co-brand mean? And I know you can type it into Google and repeat whatever it gives you, but what does it mean for CrossFit and Velites to "co-brand?" I have my beliefs, but I don't know for sure; is leaving things open for interpretation intentional or just a typo?

Secondly, since Coach Glassman sold the company in 2020, outside companies have flooded in to try and expose us to their products directly on CrossFit's behalf - all in the name of "helping affiliates". But rarely, if ever, do we ever get the exclusivity that actually matters: a discount on the product. And here we see it again: Not discounted price on gloves and jump ropes for CrossFit affiliates or Open participants, but instead, "all products will be available for purchase..." as if that is the opportunity, itself.

Red Flag #5: now we can?

CrossFit athletes worldwide can now look forward to experiencing the superior performance of Velites’ products while embracing the shared commitment to constant improvement and work ethic.

Could they not do this before? Were these products available for purchase before this exciting partnership?

Red Flag #6: about the company

Velites began in 2015 with a simple challenge: a tangled, poorly adjusted jump rope.

What would the demand be for solving a challenge like this if Coach Glassman did not invent workouts like Filthy Fifty, Annie, and the like? CrossFit solved a prime challenge - one that it believes is the "world's most vexing problem" - which is chronic disease. Rogue Fitness solved a secondary challenge, which was that when I first started CrossFit it was nearly impossible to find equipment that we can use in our fight against chronic disease. My first set of rings was $120. This is responding to a challenge of someone who is doing jump ropes in a time crunch, not someone who has not jumped in 20 years... all of which makes me believe this is some Soft Ass White People Shit.