CrossFit Athletic Group

For those of you who don’t know, Boxy is the cardboard box that hangs around the storage corner of the building. He’s been with the Champions Club for a little over a year now, and he’s been signed by anyone who spent time in our gym. Since Boxy is our honorary mascot, I sat down with him and his creators, Aaron, Connor, Jason, and Ricky, to learn more about his wildly interesting life in the world of boxes.

I’m here with Boxy and his four founding fathers. Can you guys tell me about the days before Boxy? How did Boxy come to life?

Jason: Well, there was an old box in Connor’s basement and we didn’t know what to do with it… So we kinda just colored it.

Connor: Was it mine?

Ricky: We found it in the street.

Connor: No, we found the box in the weight room at Foley, and I think Nicole and Sydni were talking about how they color boxes. So we came home and colored the box. Every day there would be a different thing on the box and we would carry it from my house to CrossFit.

Ricky: And then we became smart enough to leave it there.

Jason: Yeah, so we didn’t look like idiots carrying a ginormous box down Stephenson.

Boxy hanging out with some of tha 10AM'ers last summer.

Connor: We had some good times carrying boxy.

Aaron: Like Charles!

Who was Charles?

Connor: There’s this kid that lives down the street from me, and him and his family were getting ready to go somewhere. Charles was playing in his front yard and then for some reason he was laying behind his family’s van.

Jason: I thought he went underneath the van!

Connor: Yeah, he was underneath it, and his dad comes up and looks at Charles, and he’s like, “Charles! Don’t play under the car! Do you know what happens when Charles plays under the car?”

All: “NO MORE CHARLES!”

Aaron: And then he started crying. 

Connor, how old was Charles?

Connor: Uh, I don’t know, he was probably like six or seven.

Okay, moving on. So if Boxy was an inanimate object, what would he be?

Ricky: A box. 

A box? Why?

Ricky: Because that’s what he is.

Jason: How about an Xbox?

Boxy listed his favorite things for us on one of his flaps.

Okay. It says here that Boxy’s favorite sport is “boxing.” Why is that? What’s so fun about boxing?

Jason: He’s a champion. He used to box.

Connor: He beat Rocky. It was Rocky 7.

And it says here that his favorite dog breed is a Boxer. Did Boxy ever own a dog?

Jason: As a wee lad he did. His parents got him a Boxer for his birthday, which is also coincidentally on Boxing Day.

Where do his parents live?

Connor: Canada.

Emma: I can actually see your logic there because Canadians actually do celebrate Boxing Day. That was a good answer.

Chris: We get it Emma.

Okay guys, I’m going to talk to Boxy now.

Boxy, what is your favorite cheat meal?

Uh…. Boxes… of Kraft macaroni and cheese.

Wait you eat boxes???? Isn’t that cannibalism?

No. I also like the leftover boxes from diarrhea pizzas. Just the box.

Not the pizza? I feel like that has a lot of fiber in that though... On another note, who is your superhero? Who do you look up to?

That’s a good question.

Is it Rocky?

Sure.

Who is your enemy?

Abby. Abby Lama.

I wonder who dislikes Abby more: Boxy, or Connor

Boxy, why do you hate Abby so much?

Because Abby’s strange addiction is boxes. I don’t want to get caught in her lair.

What traits about Abby annoy you so much? It’s not going on the website, don’t worry.

I don’t know. Everything.

Geez. All right, moving on. What is your dream? What do you want to be when you grow up?

Well it was being a boxer and winning the boxing championship but I already did that. I want to win the CrossFit Games.

When are you going to begin your training?

Next year.

Connor, are you going to coach Boxy?

Connor: No, it’s going to be Jason.

Jason: Actually, I thought it was going to be Ricky!

Connor: Ricky is going to be the “professional mobilizer.”

Ricky: Yeah, I’ll help him mobilize…

Jason, what do you think Boxy’s strengths and weaknesses are as an athlete?

Jason: His strength is definitely box jumps. He’s awesome at box jumps.

Murley: Oh, I get it, because he IS a box, and he jumps! [laughs to self]

Boxy's legendary box jump.Connor: He’s bad at everything with weights though. He would crumple under anything heavy.

Ricky: He doesn’t have a lot of…. Arms… to lift things.

That’s cool. So the question we’re all wondering is: Who does Boxy have a crush on?

[Boxy blushes]

Do you have a crush on Katie?

Ricky: He knows not to take Katie away from Connor.

Connor: Probably Boxy Senior.

Who’s Boxy Senior?

Boxy Junior’s great grandmother.

Jason: It would just be Boxy’s grandmother since he’s Boxy Junior’s father.

Boxy Junior was the 10AMer's gift to Murley when she went to Pitt.

So let me get this straight… Boxy has a crush on his grandmother? Boxy, what is so appealing about Boxy Senior that puts that sparkle in your eye?

She’s made from premium cardboard.

How did they get away with naming Boxy’s grandmother Boxy Senior?

Ricky: It’s accepted in the world of boxes. They have different rules than we do.

Well, that certainly is interesting. Thanks for talking to us!

I don't know about you, but I will never look at a cardboard box the same way again...