CrossFit Athletic Group

It's time to announce the winners of the mock elections! Thanks to everyone who voted, especially to the person who nominated Sap for every category.

1. Best Laugh - Jennifer Banet (9 votes)

Jennifer edged out Pudge to win this award by one vote! Mrs. Pip and Elle tied for third place with five votes each. While I think Pudge's laugh on film was much more noteworthy, Jennifer's low-pitched confused-sounding chuckle has been one of the staples of the newbies session this summer. Her athleticism is no laughing matter, though! Jennifer made JV volleyball this year as a setter, and she's playing with her older sister Erika.

2. Best Dressed - Nicole Murley (13 votes)

When Emma and I were tallying the votes, it was a close race between Anita and I. But even without the benefit of having 400 pairs of shoes, I managed to come out with a victory! I think it had to do with my stellar team workout clothing selections. Anita had 8 votes, Mrs. Carey was in third with 4 votes, and Katie B came in fourth with 2 votes. Sorry Katie... Words of advice: try wearing your shorts around your waist instead of around your belly, you're not a mom!

3. Best Driver - Erica Potter (9 votes)

JZ's speech seemed to have an effect on the voter population. Mariah and Lauren were in close second with 8 votes, and Alyssa had 2 votes... Although if you're just counting the number of times someone's been pulled over in the last few months, I think we'd have a different outcome (cough cough Higgins)! Alyssa is actually a really cautious driver, so much so that she will wait until Stephenson is closed down until she crosses into the parking lot. Take note from her, EP! She hasn't hit anything yet!

4. Best F-Bomb - Tara Taylor (23 votes)

This category really didn't have much competition. Jason had 4 votes for his weak effort to spite Binno during his Overhead Squat, but that doesn't even come close to Tara's roid-rage outbursts we have come to know and love!

5. Best Music - Aaron Augustyn (14 votes)

I think it really depends on the type of music you like. The Kavanaughs and their Country Countdown playlists came in second with 9 votes, and Tara's techno/dance playlist came in third with 4 votes (it has "Barbara Streisand" on it). But the one person that has a great compilation of every type of music is Aaron. His playlist matches his personality: upbeat, pleasant, and all around awesome.

6. Sweatiest - Jack Pryde and Jack Trastevere (12 votes)

The sweaty Jacks tied for this award. Cap'n Jack's reputation as a reverse sponge dates back to the old weight room days, when he would stumble into the cafeteria after school completely drenched. His poor shirts never stand a chance. Pryde just wears three layers of clothing, so by the time the first round of the warmup is finished a sweaty trail follows him around. Mr. Carey came in third with only 3 votes, which was surprising to me. Mr. C, I think you can compete with the best of them!

7. Ladies' Man - Ricky Carey and Chris Binno (10 votes)

...Master P placed third with 7 votes. This was one of the closest votes, but the ladies have spoken. Congratulations, boys! I wonder what Master P's 56 girlfriends would think if they found out he didn't win this category...

8. Sassiest - Aly Baringer (10 votes)

Aly is the Miss America of sassiness, and she has been from day one. We need someone to keep Chris straight! Mama V (8 votes) and Jamie (6 votes) fill in for her at the moms' session, always willing to let us know when the workout or music isn't "appropriate." Seventh grader Maria is a rising Miss Sassy with 2 votes, and Pudge and Bubs each earned themselves a vote. In summary: The Champions Club is full of sass.

9. Class Nerd - Aaron Sabal (12 votes)

I think he was a shoe-in from day one, considering his nickname this summer was "nerd." That being said, he is one of the top students in his class at MSU's medical school. His adult counterpart, Mr. Wonsil, came in second with 7 votes, probably due to his IT background. Beans came in third with 3 votes, and he might have gotten more if he was a little better at modular arithmetic... Katie B also had 3 votes, but Emma and I only had one each! (Thanks, Aaron Sexton!)

10. Chatterbox - Erika Banet (8 votes)

While her sisters are usually too focused on the task at hand to talk much, Erika's presence is usually heard the second she walks in the door. She acts as the family spokesperson for retelling stories when they are all together. Unlike the other nominees, though, she knows when it's time to be quiet and go over technique. Elle lost by one vote, even though this evidence proves she is another very strong candidate. Carter came in third with 5 votes, Crystal came in fourth with 3, and JZ earned 1 vote. Appropriately enough, Ricky voted for himself and a mystery voter gave Jacob props.

11. Class Clown - Mrs. Carey (11 votes)

A late-breaking vote broke the tie between Mrs. Carey and Master P, although both of them are very good at producing laughter from their session-mates. Mrs. Carey's nonchalant demeanor and timely mom jokes put her over the top, and she makes the mom's session a constant riot. Aaron Sexton came in third with 3 votes, and Kyle came in fourth with 2. JZ voted for himself, but clearly no one else agreed.

Jamie: "What the heck is a push jerk?"

Crystal: "Yeah, or a clean jerk?"

Mrs. Carey: "Well, we've dated a lot of jerks... and GOD knows we've cleaned!"

12. Quietest - Jay Junkin (22 votes)

This one was almost unanimous. Two people voted for Elizabeth, and one for Wendy. But Jay (seen here dodging Jesse in the Mario workout) has been here for almost four years and we have yet to hear him say anything at all. He could be mute for all we know! Oh, and two people voted for Saporito because he's never here... Clever.

13. Most Improved - Lauren Higgins (14 votes)

Erin Kavanaugh and Alyssa Jabara placed second with 4 votes each, Maria earned 3 votes, and Elizabeth had 1. Lauren is a beast, but after she went on a two-year hiatus, it was difficult for her to catch up with the movement standards we had improved upon. Since the spring, though, we've seen her true colors shine through. A 115-pound snatch balance, a 135-pound overhead squat, and a 5 minute "Grace" as rx'd are a few PR's that come to mind. The freaks have had a great summer, and Lauren has been a leader in the pack.

14. Best Beast Mode - Shannon (14 votes)

First off, "Helen" sucks. I did it last year after doing "Angie" earlier in the day and managed to PR, but I could barely move afterward. So when Shannon shattered Emma's girls record time by 30 seconds, naturally you would think she would be satisfied with that. She wasn't. After hitting 8:52 at the 10:30 session, she came back and hit 8:25 at the 7:00 session. Her hands ripped in ten different spots, but she didn't notice until after the 27-second drop. Typical Canadian.

Lauren came in second with 7 votes for her crazy overhead squat and Jacqueline earned a third place spot (4 votes) after proving that running isn't everything to her speedy sisters. Of course, Ricky didn't think these beast modes were good enough, so he nominated himself for just being Ricky Carey. Aaron Sabal heard about it and decided to vote for him too. Smooth move, Slick Rick.

15. Laziest - Chris Sinagoga (15 votes)

A lot of people give him crap for sitting on the couch all day when Emma, Jason, or I happen to be coaching a session. While it's true that he doesn't do anything else all day, it can be really tiring to stand or sit around so much! Collin Skorupski earned second place with 5 vites, Anita came in third with 4 votes, and Master P earned 2 for showing up less than 25% this summer. I somehow forgot to put Connor on the nominee list, but Chris made sure to vote for him and I probably would have if I remembered he worked out...

16. Best Session - The Freaks (8 votes)

This category basically just told me how many people from each session voted, although Anita did vote for the "advanced" session (we're pretty sure it was her). With that, the freaks probably earned that title because they were actually the best movers and posted the best workout times. The 9AM'ers took second with 6 votes, followed by the Advanced session with 5 votes, the Mom's club with 4 votes, and sadly the Newbies Crew only got 1 vote (sorry Jennifer).

17. Most Popular - Emma Wonsil (12 votes)

It's true! Emma is probably the most favored coach among all of us, including the very picky 9AM'ers and the moms. Mrs. Pip and Tyler came in second with 4 votes each, Marianne earned 3 votes, and Aaron Augustyn earned 2. All of those candidates have the winning personality we love, but since Emma has the best attendance, she gets to spend more time socializing.

18. Cutest Couple - Chris and Anita (11 votes)

This came as no surprise for the match made in heaven. This power couple has been going strong since before any of us even joined the Champions Club. While the tension has made it difficult for Chris to coach at times, they've found a way to stay cool while they're within such close proximity to each other. But if you're ever wondering why Chris looks like he's blushing, look around. Anita's probably at your session not doing the warmup. Ricky and Hannah came in second with 5 votes, even though they're not really a couple (yet). Mr. and Mrs. Carey tied with Jennifer and Tyler with 4 votes each. Mama V voted for herself and Mr. Wonsil, and they are pretty cute when they're actually here together... Katie B and Connor also got a vote (now THAT is a couple!), and Master P voted for himself and his 56 girlfriends.

For some reason, Alyssa Jabara also voted for herself for categories 19-22, which don't even exist. To top that, Ricky voted for himself for categories 19-23.