CrossFit Athletic Group

To: Coach Casey and Mrs. Tara, Mrs. Nevarez, Mr. and Mrs. Bennis, Mr. Kuiper (when are we getting Mrs. Kuiper by the way?!?), Mr. Malak, Mr. Webster, Mr. Krstich, Mr. and Mrs. Van, Bewick, Mrs. Hana, and Mrs. Michelle. (Mr. and Mrs. Carey, you lucky ducks are empty nesters). Also to the parents who aren't in here but read the site like Mrs. Regine, Mrs. Rettig, Mr. Bettys, Mr. Hesske, Mrs. Teri, Mrs. Sharp, Mrs. Hofmann, and Mel.

I'm conflicted at the moment because on one hand coming off like I'm trying to give parenting advice would be dumb because I'm not a parent and your kids are an absolute pleasure to coach. Even Dylan. On the other hand I feel like I have a useful perspective because I coach a ton of kids, inside the Champions Club and out, without the paternal emotion creeping into this stone soul. So what I would like to do is share some observations I've had over the last year and you can do whatever you want with them.

That's my boy!

...........

Infinite Game. One of the business leaders I try and follow is Simon Sinek. Within the last year he's talked a lot about the concept of finite and infinite games.

A finite game has known opponents and players, known rules, and the object is to win. The 2020 Michigan Football team will be playing a finite game (assuming, you know) on September 26 against Wisconsin; they know who they are playing, they know the rules, and they must win in order to spare their fanbases days and days of misery.

An infinite game has unknown opponents and players, ever-changing rules, and the object is to stay in the game as long as possible. The Michigan Football program is playing an infinite game: trying to stay somewhere within eyesight of the top programs until "okay fellas, for real, this is the year: we have Peppers."

Education, business, sports, and parenting are infinite games disguised as many short-term finite games. I see a lot of kids parents missing that distinction. I miss the distinction at times too.

Best 8-year old or best 18-year old. I have about as direct of a line to truly elite youth basketball players as anyone in the state of Michigan can have. I am telling you, without hesitation, that nothing matters until you are in high school (usually sophomore year, occasionally freshman year): Rankings, trophies, tournaments, accolades, you name it. Playing in tournament after tournament in youth sports buys you hype. Hype is not important until there is a college scholarship on the line. Playing in tourrnaments also emphasizes the finite game. Long-term development happens during practice - both structured and unstructured - and emphasizes the infinite game.

I don't have any experience in youth soccer, football, track, baseball, or anything else, but I've observed a short-term mindset taking precedence. School is another one of those areas out of my bubble of understanding that I suspect is also easy to miss the infinite game values when this 6th grade math test seems so important.

In an infinite game there is no winning, there's only being ahead, on pace, or behind, because the game keeps going. You can't win school, you can't win parenting, and you can't win the sport of baseball. Thinking you always need to be ahead or on pace is not realistic in the infinite game because the rules, players, and opponents always change.

If everyone's doing it... The problem with "kids these days" has been repeatedly blamed on failedparenting techniques. I had a fundamentals session with 3 girls, one of which stopped halfway through the workout and sat on the blue bag the rest of the time. After the session I asked that sister (a former gymnast) if she wanted to have a handstand walk contest. She declined, declined again, and then her mom offered her ice cream if she would do it. She still declined.

I have been lucky enough to play under and collaborate with some of the best coaches in the state and on the planet - both in basketball and CrossFit and track. I have also been lucky enough to play under and collaborate with some coaches who... a younger me would've said sucked... but a better me would say were ineffective with individual and program development. Sometimes the latter is what I draw on more than the former. Would Coach Sic do this? goes through my mind just as much as Would Coach Speedy do this? If the general consensus is parenting sucks now, then it seems there a lot of examples of what not to do.

Also, do you guys take that stuff personal? Any time I hear CrossFit alone doesn't provide enough for athletic development, or kids and teens need a different program than adults, or you can't base a gym around teenagers, or your gym's home page should not be a blog, I get PISSED! This hits home, partially because I know there's a chance that they're right, and partially because I know I've been busting my butt to make those things work in this environment. It serves as a big motivating factor for me. Do the parenting criticisms do the same for you?

Mel coaching the scouts

Just a day in the driveway. Meanwhile on Madison Avenue in 2006, an awkward, short, uncoordinated kid with glasses and baggy hair shoots in his driveway. Slowly, over the next 8 years he progresses from a two-handed shotput to a motion that could be mildly passable as a jumper to Holy Pants He Doesn't Miss! Add three Summers of CrossFit in the mix and changing his diet from Peanut Butter and DQ to eating actual food, and Jay Junkin becomes the first walk-on to make the Grand Valley basketball team.

I am every bit as succeptable to impatience as you parents are. Every time Conamora walks in the gym I know I could be looking at a future pro. Every time I see Josh Bennis swinging on the monkey bars I feel the temptation to drag him into the workout with his parents so I can say I have a 9 year-old with 20 rounds of Cindy. Seeing the way Jay Junkin progressed from 17-21 years old provides me with a great reference point for what can happen with patience for development. I'll remind myself that a 65-lb. deadlift is plenty for a 11-year old, even though Conamora can probably do 100 lbs. more, and I'll remind myself that I don't care if Josh is formally doing CrossFit as a 9 year-old: I want him to be doing CrossFit as a 19 year-old. The time might not be right for Josh Van, Mallory, Dylan Colussi, or Jake Malak to take CrossFit seriously. Shoot, maybe the time isn't right for Chase or Madison to take it serious; maybe I'm overdoing it with them. Maybe Mel is overdoing it with Ian. Who knows? All I know is that for over a decade we have shown what just 3 months of dedicated training can do - both fitness and sport-specific. We just need to make sure our kids stay in the game and then turn it up when the time is right. I promise it doesn't take long.

...........

In reality, I am absolutely spoiled by the parents of the Champions Club. It wasn't until I ventured into coaching other sports that I got to see the insane creatures that prowl the sidelines of their kids' games. But within the last year or so I've made an effort to find a random psycho parent at every game and talk to them. First, this is a way for me to practice small-talk, which, as you can probably tell, has not progressed very well. But secondly, and most importantly, I wanted to try and take their side; I wanted to see if I could put myself in a position where I'd feel like being a lawnmower too. And after a few tries it worked! We end up talking about their kids' sport and their school and the common denominator is pressure, pressure that their kid is behind and pressure to show that they are caring parents and pressure that there are opportunities passing their son or daughter up with every breeze that blows by. When I am sitting there, in that soccer environment, I feel the pressure too. It's not until I leave and head back to the safety of 32301 Stephenson Hwy that I can think clearly.

You, parents of the Champions Club, are not like that. You guys find it difficult to yell at your kids because you are usually sucking wind and drowning in sweat right next to them. We have created an environment where this is normal, and I'm sure you understand how rare that is elsewhere. So I am asking that you please don't cave in to the pressure from [insert that one outside parent that pops in your head]. It seems you've done well with that so far, and I know the most challenging years are probably coming up. The Champions Club kids crew we have is awesome right now and we have you guys to thank. Don't eff them up!