CrossFit Athletic Group

In 2019 I started doing scaling notes on the main site in the form on run-on sentences and paragraphs rambling about whatever variation of pull-ups, push-ups, squats, CF Total, or 5k was listed. The more I did them the more they morphed into a structured format that included a little subjective humor inspired by MGoBlog: the last section was always General Fear Level. I use it so much now as a reference that I figured it would be worth doing a post.

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1

Rest Day. The Sabbath of CrossFit. My favorite day, by the way. 10% effort.

2

No scheduled workout but being active seems like it would be better for the body than just doing nothing. A 2 would be considered Active Recovery: casual bike ride, walk on the trails, jog around the block (or 10 miles if you're Matt), playful swimming in the pool, you know, soft-ass white people shit. 20% effort.

3

A 3 is where we are allowed to say, in technicality, that we "worked out." But no more than that. This is the stage of checking the box, going through the motions, and "Just Happy to Be Here". I don't think it's a great place to be because no purpose was really achieved other than not being a complete piece that day. But, then again, I've been there before, and sometimes just doing this for a cycle helps me keep some momentum going and increase intensity for the next cycle. 30% effort

4

A 4 is where we introduce the concept of a dose. There is some burning in the legs; breathing is picking up; hands begin to pinch on the pull-up bar... those are all introductions to a dose. A 4 is where I like to keep most people when they come into the gym for the first time. Even Cecilia, Matt, and Mr. Mark - all in shape before they came in - worked out at this intensity on Day 1. The CrossFit dose is so foreign to newcomers that I rarely feel a need to rush with them. 40% effort

5

Once a Dose is reached, and we continue, we move into a 5 territory, which is where when a workout or set is finished, we could go either way: keep going or call it good? Do more or don't do more? Most Game-Day workouts would do well to stay at a 5, also someone just getting back into the swing of things after time off. 50% effort.

6

Now we move into a 6, which is where we are no longer on the fence about continuing: we definitely want to be done. We have greeted the discomfort, let it ride with us for a bit, then called it good. And man, this is that sweet spot when we really feel like we accomplish something; it was tough but we're glad we did it and want to try it again tomorrow; lying down feels nice but I can walk it off with the group.  A 6 is usually that first thing that really hooks new people in to CrossFit, from my experience. 60% effort.

...........Willful Divide (aka, Effort)...........

7

This, to me, is where the big divide happens not only in CrossFit workouts, but also in sports conditioning. A 7 is a dose that forces you to the ground afterwards. It is a choice, plain and simple. It's the dividing line because the initial exposures to CrossFit are usually meant to stay below this line - initial being relative to the person's fitness or attitude coming in. When you see high-fives and smiles in the immediate aftermath of workouts like all those soft-ass new CrossFit promotional videos, just know they're staying below this line. Also know that any sports coach who procedes your team's suicide sprint by saing, "NOBODY LAYS DOWN, EVERYONE UP!" either wants you to intentionally stay under this line or has never ventured his fat butt over this line, himself. 70% effort.

8

Man it feels good to be on the ground after a 7. Not so much here, though. An 8 is something that puts you on the ground but you cannot find a comfortable position for the life of you. Lying on your back makes you light-headed, so you switch to the knees... but now that means your legs and arms have to work again to hold yourself. So flip on your side? Nope not that. Maybe if I stand... nope, never mind, bad idea. GAAAAHHHH this sucks! 80% effort.

...........Workout Selection...........

9

Here lies another dividing line, as a 9 introduces headaches and nausea. The workout feels, somehow, even worse after it's done. 40 minutes of writhing, gasping, groaning, and praying on the ground is a common symptom. The difference between an 8 and a 9 usually comes not from effort (someone willing to take themselves to an 8 can surely go to a 9) but rather from the workout in specific. No matter how fast Helen is performed, it usually peaks at an 8 (still miserable) because the range of motion and power output aren't what, say, Fran would be. Grace has a very high power output, but doesn't last long enough to move it in here. And even Zander might cap out at an 8 for Tabata Something Else because local muscle fatigue would eventually cause resting in pull-ups and push-ups. Strengths and weaknesses play a major factor here also, because the limiting factor for a 9 is breathing and mentality, not muscles. 90% effort.

10

The worst. Your white flag. The closest thing to 100% we'll probably ever know.