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Welcome to the Champions Club Summer 2018!

Entries in countdown (17)

Champions Club Summer 2017 Official Signup

"Summer at the Champions Club is a 3-month long family reunion."

- We Love to Hate the Shakes We Love

We have quite the family reunion shaping up this time around. Stirrings of old faces coming through have been buzzing since April and we will see if things come to fruition. In addition our regular, conistent crowd finally has school activities off their plate and are primed for 10 weeks of fitness. The Champions Club Summer 2017 is shaping up to be an epic one, indeed. I am excited!

Here's the general info you need:

What: Champions Club Summer 2017 CrossFit program

Where: 32301 Stephenson Hwy in Madison Heights

When: June 12 - August 31

How (much): $225 per athlete

How (often): Sessions available every day

Why: Because Kenny is staring at you:

As of now, we will have 6 sessions available for the masses. They are:

9 am

10 am (rookie crew)

11 am

4:30 pm

5:30 pm (parents primary session)

6:30 pm

Signup. Since our participation numbers are much greater in the Summer, we require all athletes to sign up for their primary session of choice via email. Not text. Not verbal agreement. Email. This serves as a receipt to say that you are committed for the Summer. By signing yourself up for a time slot, you also agree to be honest about the payment; we accept cash, checks, and now credit cards.

I also understand that you may have to jump around a bit due to work and such. This is okay. Just shoot me a text on that day letting me know your other options and we'll fit you in another session. The sessions listed above are also for Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday; aka our main workout days. The session times for Wednesday and the weekend are still TBD; you don't have to sign up for those unless there is a specific theme workout that calls for it.

Rookie Class of 2017. The rookie session is reserved for athletes either coming in brand new to the Champions Club, or ones who have yet to experience a Summer with us. Right now, the time will probably be 10 am, but it might move a half hour or hour later. We'll keep you posted. If you are brand new, this has to be the session for you. If you take Fundamentals (or have taken it), I would still prefer this session, but we are a little more flexible with jumping in another group.

Parents. In the past, the Summer 6 pm session has housed most of our parents crew. We've had plenty of kids jump in there as well, so don't feel limited if this is your best option. We've also had parents in other sessions as well. If the timing is right, we would prefer most of the parents hit this session as consistently as possible.

Misc. Nothing really out of the ordinary. We keep attendance records so please make sure to put your name on the board Mr. Z! Refer to Dinner Table Rule for idea about keeping conversation content to youngest/oldest person in your session. Theme Workouts will be returning with vengeance. First theme will be unveiled June 24. Look out for the babies session expanding.

So again, the session times are listed above. A link to this post was emailed to your inbox by the kind folks of Yahoo! Mail (if you were excluded from the list, it was probably a mistake/oversight on my part). Please respond to the email stating your primary session time; this can be done in as creative a way as possible, but preferably in the English language Jay. My email address is If there is a request for an additional time slot, let me know as well.

See you on the other side!

Summer 2017 Wishlist

The Champions Club Summer 2017 official sign-up is not quite ready, seeing as we are waiting on a few last-minute decisions. We did a wishlist in 2015 based on who I thought would fit well into sessions. This time around the wishlist will be different. Seeing as this might be the Summer of the Great Returns, I did a recruiting board. The star rankings are not based on ability, but based on what I would expect their attendance/community contribution to be like if they signed up.

Important: this is only done for people who were not in the Champions Club last summer. I think it would be kinda weird if we did it for new people. And a post involving everyone we have would take a lot longer than I would care to spend on a post. So read this like you would a Rivals board: you have the players on your team already, and you are looking for additions. Enjoy!

Jacob Augustine

5-star prospect

A big burly boy with sweat glands stemming from every possible inch of surface area of his body, Jacob has been rumored to make his return to the Champions Club this Summer in hopes to round out his overall fitness and learn some techniques to help his coaching over the fence. Boom or bust type prospect with a history of both booming and busting. And sweating.

Pros: Great community contribution. Unrivaled in recruiting persuasion.

Cons: I'm going to have to buy more 45-lb. bumper plates and Lysol whipes.

David Saporito

5-star prospect

After deciding he'd had enough of not being allowed to run the open 800m, Sap decided his time on the Eastern Michigan track/CC team was done, and he is looking to get back in "CrossFit shape." Despite being a runner, he's always had good strength and coordination that has helped him excel in the gym. Now that he is back home for the Summer, he is considering making his return to the place where his CrossFit career started in the fall of 2013.

Pros: Community involvement/recruiting persuation rivals Jacob. Shows up all the time. Kind of funny.

Cons: Physical liability from training with track people the past few years. Might not have a soul.

The Babies (collective unit)

5-star prospects

With the help of patient families like the Bodways and Asmars, and Matt Fecht's basketball camp, the Babies group has been a critical addition to the Champions Club since February. They are rabidly energetic and are very consistent in their attendance every Sunday. They currently include Simone, Sydni, Jacqueline, Drew, Conamora, Zeena, Ender, Lily, and Kyle/Haley (not pictured). While we technically had Babies sessions the past two years, it was nothing like what this Summer's might turn out to be.

Pros: The future of the Champions Club is looking at us.

Cons: Requires anywhere from 3-4 coaches at a session for safety. Potty-training might be an issue.

Elizabeth Banet

4-star prospect

Since school has been out, Biff has been steadily returning to her usual form. While taking last Summer off... wait... she was here last Summer? My bad. On to the next one then.

Pros: n/a

Cons: n/a

Mrs. Kroll

4-star prospect

With her son, Robert on the verge of getting his driver's license, there is a chance Mrs. Kroll might be able to make time out of her probably-busier-than-it-should-be schedule to make a committment to the Champions Club Summer. She's been in the Champions Club consistently since 2015 for 9 months out of every year, but has yet to put together a consistent Summer. Will this be the first?

Pros: Unconditional loyalty. 100% buy in. Easy pickins to make fun of. Everything you love about our moms!

Cons: Extra explaining is required. One of the bathrooms will always be occupied.

Mr. Fitz

4-star prospect

Despite aches and pains that have been naging at him since a youth, Mr. Fitz has tried to work around whatever was feeling sore on that particular day. In April, he had to make the call to walk away from CrossFit for good. Or, at least, he said it was for good. But after some mobility sessions, rest, and a general life without Mr. Z, Reggie, and teasing Mrs. Fitz in public, Mr. Fitz has given some hints about making a comeback for the Summer.

Pros: Very coordinated. Strong upper body. Dresses in kilts. Makes fun of Conor and Mrs. Fitz.

Cons: Walking on eggshells with injuries, etc. Might also be Jigsaw from the horror movies.

Sydni Golfin

4-star prospect

The amazin' Asian. Blazin' Blasian. Champions Club OG and teenage psychiatrist to Bubs and Murley. Heartthrob of at least one handsome lad in the gym. At least. Sydni was about as involved in the Champions Club as one could possibly be during the Fieldhouse/New Old Weight room days. That also led through to our first Summer in here. Then school got in the way, as well as back poison. We have not seen her for a full Summer since 2013, but I am holding out hope that things might change.

Pros: It's Sydni!

Cons: She kinda told me no already.

Erica Gibbons (formerly Krueger, but pronounced Kreeger)

4-star prospect

Erica technically joined last Summer as part of a Henkel thing that didn't really pan out. So for the records, 2017 would be her first official Summer with the Champions Club crew. Over the course ofthe last few months, Erica has made herself at home with Kroll, Crystal, Mama V, and the rest of the 4:30/5 pm crew. And quietly, she has become one of our best movers. Pistols, handstand push-ups, squats, Olympic lifts, and now even kipping pull-ups. If she commits, and her job across the street stays the same, watch out for this one to be on the Summer dream team.

Pros: Great technique. Starting to break out of her shy phase. Checks the website sometimes.

Cons: Lives an hour away. Refuses to get asthma checked.

Alan Wisniewski

3-star Prospect

Alan spent some time with us during the Summer 2012 before heading of to Penn State to play basketball. He meshed very well with Jacob, Morrow, and the handsome crew. Alan was on the Groves coaching staff the past two years and I got a chance to know him decently well. Very cool dude who is looking to be a mid-level contributor at the Champions Club this Summer.

Pros: Very personable. Impeccable social skills for any audience. Basketball player. Surprisingly funny.

Cons: Will require special modifications for hip extensions, GHD sit-ups, and all max effort days. Also kinda soft.

Kris Campbell

3-star prospect

Kris signed up for Fundamentals in the spring of 2014, and yet has never participated in one single legendary Champions Club Summer. Rumor has it things will be different this time around, but we will see for sure come June 12.

Pros: Legit D-1 lineman. Great community involvement. Solid dance moves for a big man.

Cons: Tends to beat me in wraastling. It hurts. Also leaves for Air Force at the end of July.

Mrs. Fitz

3-star Prospect

Mrs. Carey aside, Mrs. Fitz might be our most consistent mommy counting this school year. She joined at the tail end of last Summer, but, assuming she signs up, this will be her first full Summer with the Champions Club. She helped bring in the Mr., and has been progressing very nicely as an athlete over the past few months.

Pros: Great attitude. Good blend of strength and endurancre. Very gullible. Shows up a lot.

Cons: Spells her name wrong on the whiteboard.

Alex Faust

3-star prospect

Another rumored recruit from 5-star Jacob's outreach. Faust came in as part of the Northwood invasion in the epic Summer 2013. After a stint in Kansas City for work, Faust settled back in to the metro Detroit area and made his Champions Club return in the Summer 2015, and eventually won himself the Athlete of the Fall later that year. He's went AWOL shortly after. Will he make a return this year? I certainly hope so.

Pros: I mean, look at the picture.

Cons: I mean, loos at the picture.

Lindsey/Kasey Eason (package deal)

3-star prospects

Kasey first joined the Champions Club for the Summer 2015 (widely considered our best Summer to date). She never quite had the attendance her cousin, Jay, displayed, but she still fit in very well and made guest appearances throughout the year. She took last Summer off for reasons unknown, but came back this spring and brought her sister, Lindsey with her. This combination should prove to be a good showing this Summer, assuming they sign up.

Pros: Combo deal to hold each other accountable. Related to Jay Junkin.

Cons: Complain about push-ups and other shoulder movements. Related to Jesse Junkin.

Matt Morrow

3-star prospect

Matt Morrow is the first person in the history of the world to officially sign up for a Champions Club Summer. It was back in the Old Weight Room. 2010, to be percise. He's been a fabled member of the Handsome Gentlemen's Club, inventor of the elbow muscle-up, and has since gone off on his own to focus on Olympic Lifting. Can Jacob pull a turn-around for this one?

Pros: Very handsome. Polite. Funny. Strong. Thick. Solid. Tight.

Cons: Kinda soft, like Alan. Maybe too handsome.

Kyle Anderson/Mike Morrow (Combo Meal)

3-star prospects

These two young guns made their home in the Champions Club during the Summer 2015 as rookies who led the way to our best Summer in the books. Kyle Graduated from Michigan State this spring and already made a guest appearance on a mobility day. Mike hangs out with Jacob sometimes, and therefore is bound to get roped in here at some point. Will either stick?

Pros: The two formed a great duo of movie-talking/NBA debating/good-form loving college males.

Cons: Kyle sweats more than Jacob I think. Mike panics while doing cleans.

Avery Maslowski

3-star prospect

If Renee Shelton was a little less Renee Shelton, she would be Avery Maslowski. Just a freshman, Avery came over to the Champions Club in the late fall as part of Shannon's Cross Country group. We've already seen big improvement in coordination and strength, and she's brought her younger brother, Drew, in for the Babies session.

Pros: Lots of potential to be a legit high school athlete.

Cons: Not really sure there are any. Ride issues maybe? But probably not.

Craigen Oster

2-star prospect

Unlike his handsome counterparts, Craigen has yet to put a Champions Club Summer under his belt. I mean, he did technically sign up for Summer 2012, but his attendance was not where I was expecting. However, he seems eager to get back at it this time around, and he's always been a very easy kid to coach. So I have a feeling this college kid might out-play his ranking.

Pros: Barefeet bandit. Likes Hip Hop. Younger siblings. Good community fit. Coaches outside here.

Cons: Might still have blisters from that fateful track practice in 2013. Sorry bossman!

Steve Carey

2-star prospect

This news came to me earlier in the month from the mother of the household, but assuming a work schedule can be situated, Champions Club OG (Summer 2010 origins) Steven Carey might be looking to make a return. Last I remember from him, he was a Carey - coordinated, strongish, dreadful upper-body pushing ability, and a good community person.

Pros: A Carey. Plus has ties with OGs like Sydni, Ryan, and maybe even Gabe or Landrith.

Cons: Might have long hair now. Please don't have long hair.

Erica Potter

2-star prospect

EP came to us for Fundamentals at the end of the Summer 2013 and has been with us for a few Summers already. Taking last one off due to work schedules, she came and talked to me earlier this year about the possibility of a return for 2017.

Pros: Great chemistry with The Freaks. Good work ethic.

Cons: Inconsistent attendance. Sometimes falls over things, a la Matt Fecht.

Emmanuel Myles

2-star prospect

Emmanuel has been up and down in the Champions Club since he joined in the winter. He's very athletic and has an incredibly high cieling as a runner if his training catches up to his body.

Pros: Might be best athlete along with Sap/Aaron Sexton. Teaches dance moves to Mrs. Carey.

Cons: Working at Wendy's has not helped his diet, or attendance.

Mrs. Owusu

2-star prospect

Despite having a low-star rating, I think the potential is very high for Mrs. O. Having to cart Emmanuel and his younger siblings around doesn't help her attendance, and neither does working in Canada. But once track is over and she can focus on herself a little bit more, look out for this new mommy to have a breakout Summer.

Pros: Diet has remained on point. Good mobility. Good role model for kids.

Cons: Attendance needs better showing.

Pat Luetz

2-star prospect

As our second-newest Champions Club member at the time of print, it will be difficult to know what to expect from Pat. He already paid for the Summer, so we know he's in. And he's shown a quick transition into our group that is rare for outsiders. So if I had to make a guess, I think Pat is going to out-perform his 2-star base ranking by Summer's end. So we will have to wait and see.

Pros: Really obsesses over good form. Embraces being coached. Brings in food.

Cons: Has not seen enough at-bats. Can't get cleans to save his life, yet.


There you have it. Am I missing anyone? Hope to see you all in Champions Club t-shirts by July!

Coming Soon... Summer 2017

We are officially past the middle of May (which might be the fastest month in the history of months), and that means the Champions Club Summer 2017 is only weeks away!

The Summer is worshipped around these parts and rightfully so. Most of it can be recounted in the Summer's Eve post before 2015, but if you've been around the block you know what's in store: theme workouts, lively sessions, 90-degree weather, new toys, new rookies, and the return of faces you haven't seen in a year. This spring has already gotten off to a great start with David Saporito coming back, as well as the speculated return of a certain handsome crew.

Either way, be on the lookout for the official signup and email coming soon. And in the meantime, be sure to put a bug in the ear of people you know need it!

What Are They Saying vol. 10: Summer Teaser

This picture was taken post-workout at our annual Hawaiian/Shark Week Theme from last July.

What were thay saying? Post your captions to comments.

Let the Countdown Begin

The weather appears to be breaking, spring sports are under way, colleges are wrapping up. It can only mean one thing:


Summer Schedule + Attendance Info

Here is our official Summer schedule until I change my mind again.

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday

9 am

11 am (rookies) held at 4 pm this week*

1:30 pm**

5 pm

6 pm

7 pm

*Because all the schools are keeping you kids longer than I anticipated, the 11 am session will be held at 4 pm every day for this week.

**If you signed up for 1:30 and are still in school, obviously come to a different session. Preferably 7.



11 am

1:30 pm

6 pm



11 am (team workout - kids)



11 am (kids mobility)

12 noon - parents team workout


Secondly, if you are new to the Champions Club Summer, we keep attendance records for regular workouts, team workouts, and mobility days and there are various rewards that come from good attendance numbers. We routinely have 40+ people working out in a day, and sometimes crack the 50 mark. Please make sure to write your name on the board every day. We do a double-check every night, but sometimes we forget.

Champions Club Summer 2016 Official Signup

"Come see for yourself or stop making a fuss

You don't really know Summer 'less you've spent it with us"

- Summer's Eve

The Champions Club Summer 2016 is officially set and we are ready to take signups. I'll try to not ramble as much as I did in previous Summer posts. Here's the basics:

Where: 32301 Stephenson Hwy in Madison Heights

When: June 13 - August 31. Sessions every day.

Cost: $225 per person

Session times:

9 am

10 am* (Kids Session - grade school/middle school)

11 am* (Rookie class - 7th-10th grade)

1:30 pm

5:00 pm

6:00 pm (mostly parents session)

7:00 pm

*there's a chance the 10 & 11 am sessions might interchange or move to a more convenient time

Your job: Email me (not call or text) at to confirm the time slot you will be primarily attending. Then sip on lemonde as you anxiously await June 13. (Calling me, texting me, or commenting on the post to sign up = failed IQ test)

Notes: By emailing me you agree to pay the $225 whether you show up once or all 81 days. The schedule above is for Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. Session times for Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday are TBD. We are also going back to the regular workout schedule (aka, not 3-on-1-off). Please make all checks payable to Champions Club, Inc. Cash is also cool. I understand you are probably not going be be able to make the same session every single day, just do your best and give me a heads up when coming to another one. If I didn't email you, with this link, it's because I didn't have your address or I forgot.

Rules: Be cool with the payment. You're as good as your word. If you sign up for a session and don't pay you've lost the privilege of being on the honor system and I release the hounds on you. Keep conversation levels consistent with the age group at the session. College humor doesn't always fit at team workouts. When in doubt, watch the parents; they do a great job of this. Even Mr. Wonsil.

Look, there is nothing better than the Champions Club Summer. Theme Workouts, hanging at the gym, field trips, celebrity guest-speakers. Our entire year revolves around this, and we got another great one primed for you guys. If you put a lot into it, you're gonna have the best three months of your life.

I think that's about it. I'll be looking for your email.

- Chris

ps. Again, credits to Emma for that dope video!

pps. In the past kids have replied with incredibly creative emails. The best ones will be featured on the site. Click here and here for the best emails from previous years, but don't click here.