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Entries in david sap (67)
Short Stories from Summer 2023: A Thunderous Kick to the Nards
Chris Sinagoga | Tuesday, August 29, 2023 at 10:21AM Our pampered 9 am session got off to a great start this Summer in the workout realm, yes, but every pull-up, clean, and 400m run combined paled in comparison to the adventures in soccer that happened on the turf during the month of June, the first of which will forever make an indent on our minds and on Saporito's dangly bits.
The teams were split as such:
Boys:
- Me
- Sap
- Chase
- Moustaache
- Zander
- Mr. Mark
vs.
Girls:
- Cecilia
- Dillon
- Jessica
- Madison
- Koje
- Allie T
On paper I know it looked like a complete mismatch; the boys had far and away the better team. But never underestimate Jessica's ability to cheat and Dillon's ability to hold a grudge. And lest we forget about Cecilia, and her overwhelmingly negative personality, who can turn a friendly game used as a warmup into a mutinous revenge outing.
Somehow the girls shamed their way into getting the ball first, did their little foot fairy magic for a bit, and suddenly the ball found its way to Cecilia with nothing but David Saporito standing 5 feet away in front of the goal. She wound up and blasted her All-American kick, looking to send a massage that the girls were there to play.
Only problem, Sap wanted to send a message that the boys were there to win.
The boys won that game 10-7, and then when the girls complained about girl problems hampering their performance, we continued playing and the boys still won 14-11.
The repercussions from that game have been felt all around the soccer world. Madison and Jessica quit soccer altogether; Cecilia is leaving the country to find a less competitive version of the sport; Koje grew a tumor on her leg from the physicality of the game; and Allie T and Dillon have not been seen in the gym since. Meanwhile the boys went about the rest the day - and Summer - with class and dignity befitting of our collective character, all sparked by David Saporito's selfless act of heroism.
