CrossFit Athletic Group

What started as a normal, IT-Band mashing Open mobility session turned into a good old fashioned boys vs. girls playground war. Although I was not attentive to witness how the chaos began, I can only assume it started with the following:

Ricky Carey was minding his own business and mobilizing like the serious athlete he is. Desperate for attention from the charmster, Katie Bromm began an all-out assault on poor Patrick in the form of taking off her shoe and whacking him with it (hoodrat style). In perfect synchronization with Bromm, Elizabeth Banet (desperate for Jason's attention) began her well-coordinated attack on the Track star. Out of sheer self defense, the boys wrestled the shoes away from their respective assailants and tried to talk some sense into the vengeful women. Needless to say, their attempt was in vein, and all the girls in the gym swarmed together like a flock of starving crows to mount an attack. What ensued looked something like this:

There seemed to be little hope for the boys. Ricky, Jason, and Collin Skorupski were vastly outnumbered and fatigue from the trifling hot gym began to take its toll. The aforementioned flock of crows gained momentum with every squawk  and played the numbers game to their advantage. In one, valiant and selfless act, Jason made a split-second decision to try to draw the attention away from his victim brethren.

Did he just go outside??

Some say it was out of madness, and some say it was out of brilliance. But it is funny how often those two trains coincide. Either way, the crows followed in a pack (as is the nature of the beast), and the makings of a recess snow fight began.

Not brave enough to foster a fair fight, the crows picked out the weakest member of the guys' heard and bombarded him. Unfortunately, Collin never stood a chance.

Survival of the fittest

All Jason and Ricky could do was watch as their ill-ridden comrade was engulfed in the flock. Shortly after, the fight was over as the mother and father birds returned to the nest to call off their young. The boys had prevailed and while Collin was left for dead, it was for the greater good. Because no doubt the lesson learned was that boys rule and girls drool.

The bitter reality of defeat