CrossFit Athletic Group

During my junior year in college I had used up my excused absences for a particular English class on both basketball-related things (games, travel, etc.) and, unfortunately, just plain old not wanting to drive down 6 mile on another miserable winter day. There were a lot of problems with this, chief among them was this was only 3 weeks into class.

In March our team made it to the National tournament and I had to inform Dr. Levin (a really, really good teacher, by the way) that I had a little situation on my hands. After a guilt-driven conversation, he gave me a chance, "Okay Chris, I can excuse the absences for this basketball tournament, but any more and I really have to drop you from the class. I hope you can understand." I did understand for sure. I went to the tournament and we got our asses handed to us.

When we got back to Michigan I was truly in Don't Eff This Up For Dr. Levin mode, and this went well... right up until April; my cousin Hailey and my Aunt Janet made a visit from California on a short notice. So there I was at my grandma's house on a fine Tuesday afternoon with a gravitational pull from two ends: one end contained two of my favorite people in the world whom (how bout that pronoun usage Mr. Kuiper!) I get to see once every 5 years or so, and on the other was this structured rule about going to class.

I skipped class. I told him the truth. I got dropped (rightfully so). And I made up the credits during the summer.

One of the things that went through my mind, though, is if I told him that I had a death in the family, or if I got rushed to the hospital with a sudden onset of Measels, or if I got in a car crash on the way up to school, he would have most likely given me another pass. So if there are excused absences on the bad spectrum, then there also has to be excused absences on the good spectrum.

This spectrum of "I'm not going to work right now" deals with a death of some kind and goes from Everyone Understands to Are You For Real? with a lot of gray area in the middle.

• My spouse died
• My friend died
• Kobe died
• My uncle died
• My grandpa died
• My dog died
• My neighbor died
• My second cousin died
• My neighbor's grandma died
• My classmate from high school I haven't seen in 20 years died
• This dude I see taking a walk every day but never talk to died
• I drove my car over a squirrel and it died
• My iPhone died

At what exact point woud your boss be like, "Okay Patrice, I'm not going to excuse this one."? Now here's another list on the "I'm not going to work right now" spectrum, and while these are more difficult to explain than the top ones on the previous list, they're every bit as justified, and maybe more:

• It's 70 degrees and sunny in November and I'm not sitting my ass in an office
• I'm talking with my dad right now and the conversation is going really well
• I haven't slept well and I'm not going to miss anything I can't make up later
• It's Saturday Lumbergh, so I'm gonna need you to go ahead and find someone else
• I'm setting my hours and sticking to it

In reality there is no concrete list of excused absences; it's all based on what is important to you and whether or not you chose to act on it.