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Entries in me time (10)
Freckle Freddie and his Fire Extinguisher
Chris Sinagoga | Wednesday, December 14, 2022 at 2:02PM Illustrations by Jessica
...........
In a small town over the hill lived Freckle Freddie who always carried a fire extinguisher.
Sometimes he went here, and sometimes he went there, but no matter where Freckle Freddie went his fire extinguisher went with him.
One day Freckle Freddie was walking by the shop when Oliver the Owner said, "Hey Freddie, why are you walking around with a fire extinguisher?"
"In case someone catches fire," said Freckle Freddie.
"Has anyone caught fire today?" asked Oliver the Owner.
"Not yet, but they might," said Freckle Freddie.
"What about yesterday?" asked Oliver the Owner.
"No, nobody has caught fire in a long time," said Freckle Freddie, and he kept walking.
...........
The next day Freckle Freddie walked further than the shop, right by the school when Patrick the Principal said, "Hello Freddie! Oliver the Owner said you were walking around with a fire extinguisher in case someone catches on fire."
"I am!" and Freckle Freddie jumped up with excitement. "Is someone on fire at your school?"
"No," said Patrick the Principal, "I was just wondering if anyone caught fire yesterday."
"Nope, no fires yesterday," said Freckle Freddie.
"What about today?" asked Patrick the Principal.
"Nothing so far, but you never know," said Freckle Freddie, and he kept walking.
...........
On the third day Freckle Freddie walked further than the shop and further than the school. He walked so much further, he walked over the hill!
On the other side of the hill was Sherman the Shepard, with a sheeetload of sheep. "You look tired, carrying around that fire extinguisher!" he said.
"I hardly notice it by now," said Freckle Freddie. "But you and your sheep don't appear to be on fire."
"Never have," said Sherman the Shepard.
"Okay," said Freckle Freddie, "well let me know if you are." And he kept walking.
While Freckle Freddie was walking back home Patrick the Principal said, "Hey Freddie, what else do you do besides carry your fire extinguisher?"
"Not much," said Freckle Freddie.
"Well, I think I have a job for you!" said Patrick Principal. "Can you teach the kids how to not set themselves on fire?"
"What do you mean?" said Freckle Freddie.
"Well, at our school we have someone that teaches numbers, someone that teaches letters, someone that teaches tiny things no one can see, and someone that teaches things that already happened. But we don't have someone who can teach the kids how to not set themselves on fire. Can you do that?"
"I can try," said Freckle Freddie.
"Great!" said Patrick the Principal. "Here's Randall the Rascal. He set himself on fire earlier today."
"What!? Why didn't you tell me?" said Freckle Freddie.
"Oliver the Owner had his own fire extinguisher next door." said Patrick the Principal, which made Freckle Freddie sad. "But he doesn't know how to teach Randall the Rascal how to not set himself on fire. Nobody can because he's a rascal. Can you?"
So Freckle Freddie tried this and he tried that. "Don't set yourself on fire!" he yelled to the little boy. But no matter how hard Freckle Freddie tried, Randall the Rascal kept setting himself on fire.
It wasn't until some time later that they called upon Sherman the Shepard. And from over the hill Sherman the Shepard came down with his sheep and taught Randall the Rascal how to not set himself on fire, so that Patrick the Principal could continue his principalling, Oliver the Owner could continue owning, and Freckle Freddie could continue carrying his fire extinguisher, in case someone caught fire.
Chris Sinagoga
I originally published this follow-up with the post on Wednesday, but I wanted to leave it out, at least initially; explaining a joke after you tell it kind of blows the whole vibe if you ask me. Only this obviously wasn't a joke, and probably isn't very clear anyway, so I figured I'd publish it.
This post is about addiction to cell phones. There are probably many sides to that addiction - dopamine, self-gratification, etc. - but the one that's had my attention is the classic "what if there's an emergency."
While on the surface that argument can seem legit, a little bit of critical thinking can unravel it. For example, let's say Dylan's car breaks down on the side of the road in Troy. What can Mrs Tara or Coach Casey do for him that 95% of the other people in Dylan's contacts can't? And an even more important question: what about the thousands of other times Dylan goes driving without his car breaking down?
The cool thing about today's world is everyone has a fire extinguisher that can help us when we set ourselves on fire; we are all so well-connected and well-informed that it becomes less about who to call and more about who's the most convenient to call.
The vulnerable part about today's world is there's a glaring lack of people that can teach you how to not set yourself on fire, because in giving people resources they, themselves, become less resourceful. If you notice a consistent lack of drama around someone, chances are they're a good person to teach us how to not set ourselves on fire. Mr. Carey and Mr. Bennis (give-or-take a Todd episode) would be my first picks here.
Luckily humans have villages, and though some villages are deeper than others I've never met someone that doesn't have one in some capacity. Emergencies are, by definition, not everyday things, and not even close to it; if one happens you the rest of your village has all the tools you need to respond.
In the meantime, instead of putting your day on hold in case something happens, you could be doing... literally anything else.
