CrossFit Athletic Group

These things were going to be individual posts with some kind of overarching message behind them, but I think they just fit better mushed together. You can pull any kind of valuable morals from them that you want. Or don't, doesn't matter to me.

A Cooler Anthony Prevails

This one was actually before Summer officially started, but it was like the week before so it counts for this. I sent out my texts to Owen, Checkman, Nevarez, and the Banets to meet at Dorchester at 5:30 pm. Anto, Nick, and Michael all rolled in at 5:45. I was already annoyed because Zander was off in his own world and Checkman's dad was off into neighbors' yards for some reason, and I'm always finding something to be annoyed about anyway. When the Banets came running in I don't think I yelled, but I dropped a few f-bombs with Natalie standing immediately to my left. I think I may have told them they were out of shape too, I don't remember exactly. I definitely lost my temper. They're Banets so they did nothing and went on to have a great workout.

After the session was over, Anthony came up to me and said, "Hey can you text me the session time instead of texting my dad? I'll make sure to get us ready on time."

Mrs. Nevarez Uses Outrage. It's Super Effective

Outrage is the one Dragon-type move that has no business being a Dragon-type move (especially when Hyper Beam is a Normal-type). It makes the Pokemon use Outrage as its attack for like 3 consecutive turns - getting stronger each time - before driving it into confusion. It works decently well against most Pokemon types when you only need one attack and are planning on subbing out, but for some reason Dragon-type moves are Super Effective against Dragon-type Pokemon. Perhaps when dragons use this against their same kind it brings out a form of Outrage they would never have to reach against a measly Weedle. And holy hell we had a full Dragon-on-Dragon hate crime earlier this Summer.

On June 30 we had our miserable 40-minute 10k sub consisting of 800m runs, 40 squats, and 20 box jumps. Our regular 6:30 pm session was all inside and on this 97% humidity day Johnny J, Natalie, and JT were all fighting like lion cubs trying to find the last inch of space at a watering hole. Suddenly Johnny J let out a scream in a falsetto tone usually saved for the opera. Out of nowhere the sweet, smiling Mrs. Nevarez stopped her box jumps. I managed to capture a picture just as she drew herself to face her demon spawn:

JT! EL! GET OVER HERE!

In the immediate aftermath Jay Junkin and Evan Pugh began box jumping at a speed I have never seen from them before, nor have I seen from them since.

Kaitlyn Can Speak For Herself

When Kaitlyn Cadrette wanted to sign up for the Champions Club in early August, she became the first high school kid since... checks my records... David Saporito to not have a parent or other adult reach out for them. I gave her a $5 discount from what I was originally going to charge her.

Woorden's GOOF

In June we started doing a lot of forward rolls - both from the ground and from the handstand - and Danielle Wooooooooooorden did not like them. No she did not. During our second excursion into these tumbling tactics 19 year-old Danielle cried (I assume she's 19) and pouted and did her normal Danielle thing for about 14 seconds, then spent the rest of the workout trying. They weren't good by any means, but they were better than they were 20 minutes previously. By the end of the Summer she was able to stick a handstand and roll out of it!

Last week I got a random emal from the Champions Club's Only Child with an attachment. I was expecting a nutrition picture or even a pr on a clean. Nope!

When Woorden comes back for Christmas (or a month from now when everyone is sent home) we will not have to start from scratch again.