CrossFit Athletic Group

Thanks to Erica Krueger and Coach Casey's efforts, we have the final attendance ready! You will note there are differences from this and the Dream Team post from last week (which has now been updated). That is because we adjusted the days for the Rookies and College Kids. And Luke’s appendix thing. I forgot about that, although I’m quite sure he didn’t. I also borrowed the format below from the UFRs at MGoBlog. Anyway, here you go:

Summer 2019 Attendance

Full Time

Late Registration/Babies

Baby Michael   2    3

This is a lot.

Yes, I quite agree. This is a lot.

There were…

129 on this record, 130 on my excel sheet. So I’ll go with 129. That’s about 20 more than I thought we would get. [UPDATE: I forgot to add Michael Banet, who joined the Babies in August. So 130 it is!]

Where on earth did they all come from?

Honestly, Coach T in one way or another. He accounted for 24 people (including himself) either directly or indirectly. We had like 90 at the start of the Summer then the rookies just kept piling on. For the second year in a row I was completely wrong on where I thought they would come from, and I could not care less. It was dope!

So we can get to the teams now?

Well actually…

Nobody cares about the numbers!

Fancystats are kind of trending in sports now…

Yes but this is not sports

True. But we have fancystats so can’t we just…

Fine fine!

Great. I present some fancystats, courtesy of Coach Casey and Erica’s numbers.

Wow, did you see the...

Yeah I know! 50+ on average (rounding up on Friday) is crazy when thinking on how previous Summers we would be excited to see one or two days with 50. And almost 40 on average for Wednesday mobility.

So are they supposed to mean something?

Probably. I don’t know what, exactly. They’re just cool to look at. I think we will be able to replicate the feel of this Summer at some point, but it is going to be very difficult to see numbers like this again - especially with the format our gym is operating in. Lots of things had to fall into place. But like I said, cool to look at. For me, at least.

So can we just get to the…

Yup! Here’s the team standings:

4th Place: Team Cecilia

Notes: Cecilia really let her All American Status get to her get to her this year. She dropped from the 90% range last year to 75% this year, and saw herself placed as the second-worst personality on The Graph (just in front of mine, of course). Rumors of tension between her and Luke played out during sessions like a 1 pm soap opera on WGN, and the captain selection only made that more intense. But despite my best efforts to cause irreparable mental damage, Cecilia managed to put up a really, really good Summer of training. She kept her strength but looked like a brand new runner – showing speed and endurance usually reserved for track athletes. Or, you know, good soccer players. Zing!

Grade: A-. On Paper, Cecilia had the best draft out of anyone. She had the top baby (Thomas’s crazy ass), the second-from-top rookie (Dakota), second-from-top parent (Mrs. Tara), and the top overall athlete (Fry). But in soccer, she has been coached to know the difference between being a good friend and a good teammate. I think Cecilia let the friendship of Elizabeth, Jennifer, and Mama V deter her from doing the research necessary to make some tough decisions. Still, I would argue best team on paper, a few pieces just didn’t follow through.

3rd Place: Team Woorden

Notes: Danielle was in the Brady Hoke mindset this Summer: aware but not fully aware. Yeah she was here about 70 percent of the days, but most of her time in the gym was filled with burps and complaints about Boots. Ah Boots, how lucky he is to have Woorden stay close to home at Macomb Community College. Anyway, Danielle didn’t even want to be a captain in the first place, but I told her the draft would only take about 15 minutes and she actually believed me. So here we are.

Grade: C. Last year Elizabeth panicked and took Josh Howey with her first overall pick instead of… well… a lot of people. This year Danielle took Owen Munk as her first pick, leaving even more good names on the board. This is inexcusable. She also took Carter, Josh Howey, and Sammy – three fan-favorites but are well known to part-time the attendance. Woorden made up for things by having the entire Benni family and Bewick.

2nd Place: Team Luke

Notes: Beta Twin is part of a grand experiment I have conducted: take two genetically identical people and have one of them follow the Zone Diet and the other not. After a Summer of getting outshown by his lower-on-the-personality-chart brother, Luke is finally on board with the food thing. On the real, though, my man had a rather inconvenient appendix thing at the start of July (he got a week’s credit to his attendance) and a nagging shoulder injury from a hit he took in the Spring Game. But Luke really did end the Summer on a high note. He’s taking a redshirt this year and will be back on the field next year. But hey, at least he placed ahead of Cecilia in what really matters.

Grade: B-. No better way to disprove the Beta Twin label than refusing to pick anyone with better attendance. This tragic flaw left out a few key selections, but he more than made up for it with Aaron Sexton as his first pick and stealing Katie Shakes in the second round. Give Woorden a high five for that one when you see her on campus.

1st Place: Team Noah

Notes: Alpha Twin was kinda sorta in the AOTS running for most of the Summer; he just didn’t quite have the attendance to be put into final consideration. While his workout performances were on point, he had the worst attendance out of all four captains. Somehow he managed to pull out the victory, and I credit sheer luck.

Grade: B. One could not possibly predict Evan Pugh (Mr. I Have A 45 Minute Drive To The Gym) and Jay Junkin (Mr. I Have A 45-second Walk But I Don’t Come To Mobility) would finish on the Dream Team, but here we are. A landslide victory for Noah.

Check back sometime soon I think for the AOTS Feature Editorial: Every Day is Fryday.