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Entries in mrs. pip (63)

Pics of the Week: Fantastic Beasts and What Happens When They Run Into Mrs. Pip

Last week Fry and Shakes went to see Fantastic Beasts and happened to run into Shannon and her sister Mackenzie.

It was a great movie and any Harry Potter fan not named Rachael Kroll would enjoy it.

In other news, Mrs. Pip murdered a deer over the weekend.

Whether or not she used both hands in the assassination is still unknown, but she did push presses with it after the ordeal was over.

The Artist Formerly Known as Pat L and His Infamous Bar Hang Workout

On paper, "Coffland" looked like a harmless hero workout.

But it became evident early that harmless was not the right word. Harmful, maybe. Harmlots. Harms. Something that has to do with your entire upper body screaming in pitches only Mr. Z can hear. The run penalty was paradise; we modified with 400m instead of 800s because Shannon, Murley, and Matt were not present.

In a world before Nick Bewick existed we had a character named Pat. I didn't think he was going to make it at the Champions Club at first, but he just kept showing up every day and brought us these foods imported from the Far East that tasted like some Viatnamese person got bored with yeast. That sort of thing just grows on you after a while I guess. Pretty soon he was a fan-favorite from Mrs. Carey to David Saporito.

So back to "Coffland." People were dying. Alan hung from the garage door bars with his tiptoes on the ground and still took over a half hour to finish the workout. But the 6:30 pm session was going to be my saving grace. Here was my projected order afgter assessing the room:

  • 1st place: Jay. Manmonkey who could not ask for a better workout to suit him.
  • 2nd place: Fry. At this point, she was probably in the best shape she's ever been in her life (including Summer 2018).
  • 3rd place: Josh Howey. Juniormanmonkey/wraastler. 8th grader but his hands are freaking huge.
  • 4th place: Rachael Kroll. She was still milking that foot surgery and got to cut the run short
  • 5th place: Pat. Maybe next year after gainz.
  • 6th place: Avery. Bad at hanging. Really good at running. It should balance out.
  • Last place by forever: Mrs. Pip. Bad at hanging. Bad at running. No deadlifts or back squats. The opposite of Jay's view on this workout.

At 0:00 they all jumped up and hung. At 0:03 Mrs. Pip came off the bar; I knew I'd have to change the rules for her. She got 2 attempts before running. Then Avery dropped. Then Kroll. Then... okay what the hell Josh Howey, were you just bored?? Then Fry. Surprisingly it was Pat and Jay still on the bar at 2 minutes. At 2:11, Jay Junkin let go of the bar and furiously headed out the door for the run. Pat, the 30-point road underdog had won.

When Jay got back from his run, Pat was still hanging from the bar.

"What the f#@% Pat," blurted Jay when he came in.

"That's right," said Pat. "All day, son." And that was that. Jay's ego died on November 20, 2017.

The next morning I walked into the gym at 8:07 to prepare for the max effort deadlifts about to take place. And there was Pat, still hanging from the bar. Or, at least part of him. His hands were firmly wrapped around the bar, hook grip, shoulders in an externally rotated position, only there was no body attached to it. 8 feet below on the floor laid the remains of Pat's torso and legs decomposing on the floor. A small family of crickets gathered around to feast on whatever the fungus left behind. For insurance purposes, I opted against filing a police report and cleaned up the entire scene before a surprisingly populated 8:30 am session rolled in. But they say the ghost of Pat L still haunts those black pull-up bars and grants strenth (pronounced without the "g") to those who pay sacrifice and overly sweaty hands to those who don't. Oddly enough nobody has used those bars since.

Beast Mode + Workout Notes

The workout on Friday was probably the first time in a while that I felt like I really messed up at the sessions; we needed to do the back squats from the racks so we could go heavier. But this really got me thinking a lot about barbell strength and lifting heavy weights. This is a topic that I ponder and has been covered on this site a handful of times - most famously in the editorial What is Strength? from the glory days of 2015. This topic also popped up in my head while watching college football over the weekend and seeing players continuously tap their helmet to ask for a sub, and also at our basketball open gym while noticing how much more our kids complained about getting fouled when they were tired. And also watching Planet Earth II.

I really, really think CrossFit hit the nail on the head with how they approach building strength. If you can do a 400-lb. deadlift then big ups to you. If you can do a 300-lb. deadlift in the middle of a brutal workout with running and pull-ups mixed in, then you are a different breed of beast.

Strength, in real life, is very, very rarely expressed at full rest. The ability to be strong, - in as many varieties as possible, while being tired is something that I need, you need, my grandma needs, baby Josh needs, and Shea Patterson needs. (Chase Winovich seems to have that covered.) A lot of attention was given last year to Saquon Barkley cleaning 400-lbs.

This is absurd. I would also love to see what his capacity would be doing Elizabeth (even if he needed to up the weight to 155 or 185 pounds). I think most coaches and programs will be blending strength with conditioning sometime in the future - probably when the younger coaches move up in the ranks - but until then it's mostly theoretical, though backed with some good anecdotes.

As far as our gym goes, it's tough to judge purely by numbers because of the variety of athletes. Alexis Anthes is a high school sophomore with 3 months of CrossFit experience and an average strength base coming from Coach T. NuNu is an 8th grader who's feet might well have never both been off the ground at the same time before joining in May. Jay is Jay. Mrs. Pip is Mrs. Pip. Saporito, Elizabeth, and Cecilia are all back in college. I would say Katie Shakes has a perfect capacity of being strong while tired, but then I'll watch her do a push-up in Cindy and reconsider.

Mostly, I judge things based on my gut feeling. We had to get our technique on point at the end of the spring/start of Summer, then we needed to build some stamina in the legs and feet. Now I really think it will help us to feel some heavier weight in the workouts. I don't like it. And Murley/Shannon might not come back until we're through this phase, but I think it's a big part of getting a great effect from workouts like Friday or today. I don't really want any 500-lb. deadlifters, or 300-lb. cleaners, but I would like to see what kind of capacity we can develop with heavier weights within the confines of a workout.

What does this look like? Well as luck would have it, our 8:30 am session did a nice job of showing us this morning.

Normally, Mrs. Pip would have been at 65 lbs., Schornack at 25 or 35 lbs., and Mrs. Kroll at 35 lbs.; here they were at 85, 45, and 55 respectively. Not huge increases, not a weight that would be a big sick of injury, just a little extra something that might require them to slow down a bit and really zone in on the lift. I thought the technique was really good considering it was the third round. Yes, it was technically supposed to be a power clean, but as long as the squat position looked good I wasn't going to mention anything; they already had enough on their mind. Either way, all three were able to keep their positions pretty well with a weight heavier than usual.

More to come!

Beast Mode: Moms in the Morning

This morning we had Mrs. Kroll, Mama V, and Mrs. Pip take on the rope climb/squat workout. In between a warmup consisting mostly of chatting about laundry and other mom things, they put in a great session of work. Here's their highlights:

Beast Mode: Parents Park Workout

On Wednesday, the parents went on a little field trip around the corner to Exchange Park to do a little improvised workout. The goal was to experience finding a way to get a good workout in with the best possible situation around you. Parks provide a great opportunity for this. Check out the highlights:

Along with the video, there is a photo gallery to go with it that can be seen here. Great job guys!

Quote of the Week vol. 227: The Dark Side of Mrs. Pip

"The only difference between feedback and criticism is how you take it."

- Tim Grover (Michael Jordan's basketball trainer)


Interesting that I had this planned as my quote of the week when the following conversation happened last night at the 6:30 session:

Me: "Mrs. Pip, have you ever been mean to anyone?"

Mrs. Pip: "Well... yes, one time in 6th grade."

Me: "What happened?"

Mrs. Pip: "Well there was this one girl who was always nasty to me. And so I told her, 'I don't really care for you. And I don't care for your red hair.'"

That is certainly a close walk on the line between feedback and criticism Mrs. Pip! How dare you!

PSA for Change of Shoes

This is Mrs. Pip walking into our gym on a random October day.

She is coming off a full day of cleaning (buildings and dirty diapers). So of course she walks in to our gym with fresh cleaning supplies for me and loads up before her workout session starts. When we begin the warmup, she will find the nearest Mrs. Carey and "squats", and by squat I mean gossip about laundry and dishwasher soaps and such. Mrs. Carey, of course, just nods and smiles until I look at them, at which point she critiques Mrs. Pip's form. All in all they probably finish about 4 exercises in total for the warmup, andin between each one Mrs. Pip will straighten out the Abmats, hang up a stray jump rope, or anything else that happens to be remotely on her way to the next talking station. Then when we break off to get a drink of water before mobility or technique, she finds something to clean again. Her technique for cleaning is absolutely flawless from floors to mats to equipment... everything really except actual cleans.

All arms. Just the way she likes it.I do my best to give the place a full cleaning twice per week, then do the quick cleanup every night. Basically I try to stay ahead of Mrs. Pip, but it's too freaking hard. And she doesn'teven have a key to the place! Any time she sees something that looks dirty, she takes it upon herself to fix it.

This, you heathens, looks dirty:

A change of shoes is ask I ask for. Do it for me Mrs. Pip.